Sudden Realiziation

So lately I've been considering a career change. I wake up every morning feeling slightly more sick than the day before and think of a million ways to get out of what I have to do. This bothers me because this is NOT me. I have always enjoyed children, being busy, learning and I'll admit it, leading things. With this said I'm constantly wondering why I don't want to go into my classroom and do all of these things. I thought becoming a teacher would be the perfect career for me. I think I was wrong, or maybe the environment is wrong. I am repeatedly analyzing the decisions I have made which can only lead me to believe that I need a change. Considering I love my husband more than life itself, have a great condo, wonderful friends and the perfect family, the problem must be me. When I don't have to work, I'm happy. This is a problem you see because I have to work. Remember the great condo I was just talking about, well that doesn't come cheap and I'm much too accustomed to change things now. So I sit and think and I just keep coming back to a career change. I realized today that I really want to be a psychologist. I want to focus on children and have my own practice. These are things I want, I need to get there. I need to stop focusing on trying to make teaching ok and just realize that I don't like it. I don't like yelling at children and I don't like being a motivational speaker for 90% of each day. I want to help children and families, I want to help others feel better about themselves. But, what I also want is to feel better about myself. Now I just have to figure out how to swing another graduate program on top of completing a first masters and teaching full-time. However, I do love a good challenge...

Camping at Starved Rock

We just got home from a weekend camping trip to Starved Rock State Park. The park was gorgeous and we had a great time camping. Leaving Friday I was a little concerned about the weather, since it was supposed to dip into freezing temps that night, but things worked out fine. It was a little chilly but the fire was warm enough to keep us up late and the days were perfect. We spend Friday night eating smores and drinking wine. Saturday was a great day for hiking, so we headed to the state park and explored 3 different trails. Saturday night we sat around a fire again, ate and talked. It was one of the nicest and most relaxing weekends we've had in awhile. Only problem is it sparked our love for camping a little too close to winter. I'm hoping we can get one more time in with friends before it gets to cold.

Diet coke gone wrong

Leaving work today I decided that going to the grocery store with the level of hunger I had would be disastrous. To take care of this, I pulled through McDonald's to grab a quick snack and diet coke. Since I was extremely thirsty when I got the pop, I drank about half quite quickly. I immediately noticed that something didn't taste right. I drink diet coke more than I should and I'm quite sure that something wasn't right at this point. About 15 minutes into my drive I began to feel strange, more so, drunk. My eyes felt blurry and my arms were tingly. I then seriously starting to consider that diet coke again. I pulled over and took the lid off to see if it smelled funny. It did. It smelled like liquor. It smelled, more particularly, like rum. I immediately became concerned with the fact that I was driving. Luckily, I was only a mile from my husbands work so I got there safely. He agreed that the drink smelled like alcohol. Point being, I should have saved the cup and sued them. Reality, I did nothing, except save the cup incase they had poisoned me or something. I guess the moral for the story is McDonald's is running a special on DUI's for $2.16. Unbelievable.

Crazy ladies:)

Another wedding on the horizon equals another crazy weekend with the girls. This time we were in celebration of Jen and Dane's wedding coming up in September. We spent all day Saturday at the beach followed by a night out in Grand Haven filled with eating, drinking, dancing and above all, laughter. My cheeks were actually aching at points throughout the night from laughing so hard. All the girls had a great time and we can't wait for our next outing!

Almost time

Yesterday I spent all day in my classroom beginning setup for another year. It was a great day to be at school since they were hosting a fun fair for the kids and parents to welcome them back. I was really excited to see a few of my students from last year roaming around the building. However, they were even more excited to see me. It was so cute how they would say my name and coming running as if I was a celebrity. I couldn't believe how thrilled they were that I was there and I was almost as thrilled about them;) I guess I am going to miss having all of them there with me all day, but it's nice they're all across the hall. Possibly because they were my first class of students, I think I'll always feel different about that group of kids. They're all really special to me and I see now that I must be pretty special to them too. That's good closure:)

As for today, I was just spending some time researching a school in Chicago for Brett. We're hoping that they are able to move out here soon. I'd say Joe and I are successful at recruiting new Chicago dwellers:) haha! Now I need to get in gear and get ready to leave for Grand Rapids. Joe and I are visiting friends for a pre-wedding weekend of fun. The boys are tubing with beer?! Sounds relaxing, while the girls will be visiting an art fair and the beach. Of course, we'll be relaxing with beer-type drinks after this:) Should be fun, hope the traffic is alright:)

Oh yeah, and I think I'm lactose-intolerant. This sucks, I love cereal!

Oh Photographer...

So we still have not received our wedding pictures. I edited a few more today from the collection that we have, here they are. I'm starting to get a little antsy about the pictures, we're going on a month...come on, I can't wait anymore!

Sleepy

For some reason I battled insomnia last night which has left me super tired today. I'm not the napping type, so that's out of the question. But I think my book, blanket and chair sound like the perfect afternoon. I really need to go to the social security office and change my name too though. Decisions, decisions...:)

Biking

This past weekend, Joe and I went on our first mountain biking adventure in Chicago. We've been talking about seriously starting to plan trips and day rides for awhile and with my extra time these past few weeks, I was able to find some great places to ride. I was hoping the trails would be a little more "exciting" than a paved loop and luckily we found something fun and easy going enough to start with. We both had a great time and are already planning our next trip.

Aside from that, life is feeling relaxed while beginning to move into a faster pace for me. Today was my first day back in my new classroom. I went to start cleaning and organizing so I can have things ready for the kids in a couple weeks. Luckily, I really enjoy this easily considered, daunting task. I love the fresh start and creativity it brings. I'm glad I'm going into it this year with a little more wisdom and a lot less students though. I feel like I'm actually going to get to enjoy children again this year and breathe often enough to step back and see some progress. Not that last year wasn't productive, I was just so overly-stressed that I couldn't see it. This year I'm going in with a brand new attitude and honestly excited attitude. You really do learn SO much your first year as a teacher, it's nice to have something to jump off from. I know my new role will have new challenges but I'm embracing that and hoping to enjoy the challenges knowing they are often for a good cause. I feel ready to get back in my classroom and have a great year.

Update

I almost forgot to post the pictures from last weekend. We all had a great time and enjoyed all of the great music that was around us. It was so fun, we may make this a yearly tradition!

Lollapalooza

So Lollapalooza begins today and I'm waiting patiently for others to get out of work so we can go!! What kind of people work in the summer anyways?;) No, I really don't care to see anyone that bad this afternoon, but I'm really looking forward to the rest of the weekend. Tonight we're seeing Radiohead, which none of us can hardly wait for! I saw them once before with friends in college and it was amazing so I'm really happy Joe finally gets to witness it. Thank you to Matt and Gerilynn for making this weekend happen, what a wonderful wedding gift!:) Well I'm off to get around and pack up for a weekend in Grant Park:)

Birthday

Today is my brother's birthday. He'll be 23 today and I can't believe that. I also can't believe I'm 25 and I'm married, I guess I have a hard time with aging. haha:) HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRETT!! We'll celebrate when I come home, can't wait:)

Hot Pan

So last night I was super excited to make my newest recipe idea, chicken vesuvio. Everything was going great until I took a 400 degree pan out of the oven and then forgot I couldn't grab the handle. Even though I had just reminded myself out loud not to touch it, I grabbed it in full force to mix in the last few things. It hurt, bad. I wasn't that concerned and put some ice on and forgot about it. Joe and I then went for a walk to take some pictures and as we were on our way home the numbing wore off. I can't believe how painful a burn can be, it was crazy. Later I read online that you aren't supposed to ice a burn because it stops blood flow which makes it hurt more once removed. Thanks to Joe, he always has the right idea so we soaked it in cold water until the water became warm and naturally let my hand warm back up. He was up until way past midnight applying aloe, gauze and bandages and I remembered why I married him. It's nice to know your husband will accept 5 hours of sleep to help you out then get up an hour early to ride a train so I can have a car in case I get "bored." What a guy...

Anyways, with this whole burn ordeal, I started to wonder why don't they have a slip on pot holder that is skinny enough to fit on the handle of a skillet. If you just removed the pan from the oven with it and then left it on, you'd be good to go!! I'll certainly be looking for one the next time I'm out but if nothing, I'm designing one. They have every other kitchen utensil, why not make one that could save you from a second degree burn?!?!

Really?!

So I saw a preview for a tv show this morning, "Say yes to the dress," and I actually started laughing. It shows these women who are in a fitting room trying on wedding dresses and some look happy but others are crying and getting really mad because they don't like what the attendant brought out for them. I had to wonder, since it's on you is it yours to keep? Did you sign off giving the bridal attendant full range to pick whichever one she wanted and then you had to buy that one?! I realized then that none of this was true and the women were just trying it on and got really angry. Wow. With this said, I'm really happy to have the wedding over with. I did enjoy planning some of it, but mostly it's pretty stressful and really not all that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect wedding and I never once broke down into a raging psycho in a dressing room or in private for that matter. I'm not tooting my horn, but please ladies, it's one day and remember some people in the world are starving and far worse, so let's just be happy with what we can. Thanks for the rant, I had to.

Good Morning!

So I can't sleep much past 8am these days. I wake up and wonder why I want to sleep until 11 when I have to work but have no problem rolling out early when it's a "free day." I guess it's because I'm now an old married woman;)

Anyways, today is GORGEOUS here in Chicago and I can't wait to get outside for something. I think I'll read a little before running off to do some errands then I'm out for catching up and drinks with my girls from work. For now I'll continue to sip my coffee and try eating oatmeal for breakfast. Having too much free time also translates into catching a little too much Dr. Oz on the Oprah show telling you how to live to be 100 and all. Suddenly I'm second guessing my every move and spent $200 on organic groceries yesterday. Either I'm off to a good start or will crash and burn quickly, we shall see:) Here's to a new, healthier, Ashley. Cheers!

Overly relaxed?!

Well these days I'm wondering if there is such a thing as being overly relaxed??! This is a phenomenon that has not come close to entering my mind in the past 1 and some months, but am now close to understanding. Having the wedding over, no work, no classes and basically no responsibility is strange to me. You mean I can actually sit down and watch a movie and not feel guilty that there is something more important I should be doing?! This is all too weird to me. Anyhow, life's easy going and fun right now. I couldn't be happier to be married and starting my life out with such a great guy. The wedding was perfect, I couldn't have dreamed of something better and everyone had a great time. It's odd because people tell you you'll feel different after you're married and you don't believe them. Joe and I had been together for almost 7 years and I didn't think we could get any closer. I guess marriage just has a strange way of bonding two people because it's true, you do feel different. Maybe you've never shared that level of nervousness with someone before so it's a new commonality or something;) Aside from the wedding and such life has been per usual. I'm getting really used to seeing family and friends all the time though, so I may need to make an adjustment there or just start spending more money on traveling.

Summer is here:)

It's been awhile since I last wrote. Great things have happened since then. I completed my first year as a teacher. Wow! What a serious accomplishment this was. I can honestly say I am almost more proud to have completed this than college! It was such a hard year, but it did make me stronger and I'm glad I did it. I would not do the same thing next year, I learned my lesson, but I'm happy to be servicing the same students only on a much smaller basis. Being a teacher and having the summer off is strange to say the least. I wake up early still and have that sudden panic of what do I have to do and what haven't I already done?! I soon realize that I don't have anything to do, except plan a wedding, which is a whole other story in and of itself. Next week I start my 1 week of graduate class madness:) I'm secretly looking forward to having a purpose for the week, although I know I have a purpose in wedding planning too, it's just different. I need a week off of full day wonder of everything being "perfect" on July 12. Perfect for me would be a beautiful, sunny, breezy day in the mid 70's. Joe and I would not be nervous and have a great time. All of our closest family and friends would enjoy themselves and remember the day as fun. These are things you can't really plan for, therefore, I believe too much worry is unnecessary. As with anything, right?

Speaking of summer, we get to spend this summer with Matt and Geri Lynn since they just hiked it to Chicago from Jersey to be back with us! I'm so excited to have them here. We are officially "do-ers" and I can't believe this all worked out like it did. We had fun in Jersey together, but we're ready to start over here. We're all really happy to be back together. Summer celebration begins tomorrow with the first annual Jashley Cookoff. Kristen and Dan will be here too, should be a wonderful time! Hopefully between the boys they can figure out how to successfully use the grill. I think it'll be alright, they have to learn sometime:)

Weekend Wonder

It's Thursday and the long awaited weekend with friends has arrived!! Adam's wedding is tomorrow so this weekend is planned solid with friends & partying, thank you weddings!!:) I can't wait to see everyone. Joe and I are leaving in a few minutes to pick Erik and Sarah up from the airport. It's been a little over a year since we saw them so it's quite exciting for all of us! I love having a weekend to see how your friends lives are going and catch up. Luckily, we have MANY weddings this summer and fall and seeing each other will not be an issue:) I'm off, more details to come...

Deep Breathing

So anyone who knows me well, knows that this year has driven me crazy to the point of medication. That's ok, I guess that's what being in charge of 34 crazy 7 year olds on a daily basis will do to you:) With only 6 weeks left until most of my stress diminishes, I decided to discuss this with my doctor. Since the medicine I've been taking has caused a continual and mildly severe rash on my neck(which my students refer to as "my bumps") and has diminished almost all excitement that one could possibly have, I have decided to quit and hope for the best. The good news, I'm not clinically depressed afterall, I'm "over-worked and under-rested" as my doctor put it. The new prescription for this is 15 minutes of relaxed breathing and 15 minutes of aerobic exercise daily. I'm pretty excited about the fact that she didn't push another drug on me. I'm hopeful that this will help bring the calm that I need into my life and I'm optimistic it will get me through these last 6 weeks.

With this said, I'm off for a bike ride followed by a calming bath...

Summer Plans

I've decided to travel to New Orleans this summer for a service-learning trip with my professor and some friends from my program. I'm really excited to be going and I can't wait to help out. Last year volunteers did everything from painting classrooms to creating libraries to curriculum development. I think this trip is going to be a great way to reach so many of the people that need help in New Orleans. Did you know some kids have not even been going to school for almost 3 years now!? Talk about a set back, that's crazy. I'll write more as August approaches...

60 Degrees & Sunny

I love Sundays. I especially love Sunday when it's 60 degrees and sunny outside. Just finishing my morning coffee then it's outside for a walk or a bike ride, possibly a little of both.

We're Homeowners!!

So Joe and I finally purchased our first home! We've been looking since we moved to Chicago last year and found exactly what we wanted a few months ago. Now that we're getting settled I'm realizing how much I really do love it here and finally feel content and at home.

We're still in the process of decorating, but here are a few pictures of the place after we first moved in. I'll post updated ones soon and pictures of our soon to be finished deck!:)

Beginning Blogger

I've decided that instead of keeping things written down in various journals, I would start blogging. I'm new to this but I think it's just the outlet I've been looking for. An organized place to keep my thoughts and reflect on my days...perfect.